(i guess this is what i get for) Wishful Thinking

To numb the pain only makes it worse when you finally feel it

I just choked on panadol =/

I guess I was never good at dealing with disappointment. Even when it's not a foreign feeling to me. Even when i feel it practically everyday. Some days are especially tough, when the whole day is just filled with...

Disappointment.

On a brighter note,

today was spent trying to make the people i love happier. Tho i don't think it was very successful. I didn't go for the 2/O outing in the end ): doesn't mean i miss you guys any less!

Watched transformers at century square. Didn't understand the first fifteen minutes i think =/ I was like huh what's decaptagon. AND HUH what's an optimus prime? Hahahaha
But, it was a really nice show :)
And i didn't know there's a Shop 'N' Save in Century square! Gosh, after living in the east my whole life.

I really don't get Shakespeare. The language he uses i mean. Since i'm taking Lit elect and not pure lit, that's perfectly alright :D hahaha, i mean i just can't appreciate the 'thou's, 'hath's and 'doth's. (no offence to shakespeare fans, i mean his plays are really quite nice)

IFFF i had a Shakespeare-spouting boyfriend, who recites shakespeare to me often. I think i'd have to slap him. Okay lah, maybe not a hard slap just a very gentle one. Hahahaa.

Changing topic, I've been told by several people that I'm shy. =/
Hm, it may be lack of courage rather than uh..shy? Haha
I guess i've always lacked courage, from a really young age. I remeber my parents used to bring me to Julia Gabriel Classes where we'd recite poems and do drama plays to encourage small kids to come out of their shells. So at the start of every session we'd sit in a circle, and the teacher would go round the circle asking anyone if they have any news to share. I'd always just shake my head and say "no news". Even if i did have something to say, cos i was uncomfortable with having the whole circle's attention focused on me. Haha, that's not all. We'd have this poem-reading sessions where everyone would be assigned two lines in a poem. Whenever my turn was nearing, my heart would start beating like crazy.
=.=
I stopped going there when I was 7, too stressful. Hahha :)

The absence of courage has constantly been my downfall. I still remember one of my first battles against courage (well, the lack of it). I was P1 and i had this close friend whom i stuck to a lot. She had a tendancy to..hit me. In a joking manner, but it stung like crazy everytime. My whole skin would blotch up and stay red the whole day. She just..likes to hit people me. There were many days where i'd try to tell her to stop it and shove off, but the words just wouldn't leave my mouth (lack of courage, you see). Haha, finally managed to muster enough courage to speak those words many many days later, telling her to stop not shove off.

Hahah :D

AND CONGRATS TO MELISSA!
For winning a bronze medal for Spore in AYG!
:D